More than a year ago, I had a conversation with filmmakers and wife/husband duo Shirlee Wilson and Fred Jones about their film “Sugarhouse,” in which they shared about their own trajectories as artists whose lives changed direction shortly after graduating from film school when they found out they were pregnant with their first child; after focusing on raising their family for two decades, they picked up their dream to make a feature-length film again once their children went to college. I remember this conversation because it was a fun and encouraging one.
I have been dealing with rejection in what feels like many areas of life and working to make sense of the mire of dreams deferred. I am also wondering if it is possible to be both an artist and a parent simultaneously, two vocations the world so often seems to place in conflict with each other because both ask so much of a person; they seem to me, however, to be similar in concept of creating and shaping something to send out into the world that is both an expression of one’s self and also not one’s self, differing mostly in their mediums. I reach out, and Wilson and Jones agree to meet up again.
I greatly admire their lives as artists, as a married couple who together are parents, as people of faith, and in this conversation, I am interested in how they made their decisions, what it felt like when it wasn’t time for their feature-length film dreams yet, and how they kept their desire to make a film alive throughout rejection and while pursuing their dream of raising a family. And I want to know what’s new with their film, a film I want to see in a theater because it is real and subtle and Midwestern, to celebrate the ways they’re fulfilling their dream and getting a story that matters out to audiences.
At the heart of my questions, I think, is this unspoken wondering: How does one say yes to both parts of oneself and answer two callings?
When I get to the coffee shop, Wilson and Jones are there waiting for me. Since we’ve last spoken, their award-winning feature-length film has made its world premiere at the St. Louis International Film Festival. It has won Best Film and Best Actor (Caleb Ebert) at the Great Wonders Uplift Fest in Joplin, Mo., and Best Faith Film at the Santa Clarita International Film Festival in Santa Clarita, Calif. And it’s been nominated for Best Feature Film at the Chandler International Film Festival in Chandler, Ariz., and for Best Feature Film, Best Lead Actress (Alivia Roach) and Best Supporting Actress (Tess Farrar) at the Canadian International Faith and Family Festival.
To get to these successes, though, they tell me this past fall was difficult; they entered a few prestigious film festivals that receive more than 10,000 submissions and accept approximately 1% of submitted films — most that feature known actors — and received rejections. Along the way, however, they say they felt encouraged by God and others at just the right times, helping them to continue moving forward with faith and conviction.
Suffering and hope are two experiences of the artist’s creative cycle, Wilson says.
“The whole process has been ups and downs. It’s always you get pushed, but then something happens, you keep going. I think that’s just how all art works,” Jones says. “You just have to live with disappointment.”
Wilson and Jones met as graduate students while attending film school in Utah in the 1990s, where they earned their MFAs in film production from the University of Utah. They got married and soon after graduating had their daughter; Jones says they realized rather than starting their lives as filmmakers, God had other plans for them during that time period of their lives, and it was time for them to put their efforts towards raising a family. They moved back to Jones’ hometown of Jackson, Mo., and gave birth to their second child, a son.
Throughout this time, they continued working in the field of film and television, teaching it and practicing it in various capacities. They also wrote scripts — winning first place at the Slamdance Screenwriting Competition and being a Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting three-time quarter-finalist, as well as a finalist in the American Zoetrope Screenwriting Competition — and made short films, including a documentary about maple sugaring that led them to write their feature-length fictional script centered around a sugarhouse. Wilson says working in the film and television field helped them keep up with changing technologies.
When she’s not pursuing creative projects, Wilson says she’s not happy and is “not a pleasant person.”
“For us, we’re just creative people, and to not do something creative is just not a choice for us,” Jones says. “So, it’s just something you have to do, and you just hope that somebody will see [your work] at some point. But ultimately, you’re doing it because you love to do it.”
The couple began making their first feature-length film in 2021 after their son graduated from high school. The film, “Sugarhouse,” follows Maisie, “a sweet-natured teenager and her headstrong little sister, abandoned by their outlaw father.” The two “reach out for help from their wayward brother who remains haunted by the sins of his past,” according to the IMDb website’s description.
Wilson and Jones cast local actors and actresses and put together a local film crew, beginning to shoot in June 2022 in Utah and in July 2022 in Southeast Missouri and wrapping the filming at the end of May 2023. Kappa Studios Inc. in Burbank, Calif., which is the post-production house for “The Chosen,” a popular show that depicts stories of Jesus’ life in the Gospels, did post-production on the film.
The couple’s goal is to get their film locked in with a distributor and then screen their film at theaters including in Cape Girardeau to share their message of hope. Being in festivals especially as finalists helps lend credibility to the film and also offers opportunities to foster connections with other filmmakers, agents and distributors who could aid in this goal. Festivals also offer the opportunity to show the film to live audiences.
Jones says in their film, the main character Maisie’s dream changes: She initially wants to be a veterinarian, but then conflicts come her way that help her realize her real purpose is to be there for her sister. Wilson and Jones see parallels of this in their own lives: They say when they found out they were having a child, their dreams of pursuing film right after graduation from film school shifted “immediately.”
“[Raising our family] was perfect for that part of our life, and we love that part of our life,” Jones says. “Now that [our children are] starting their own lives and they’re pursuing their dreams which is great to see, now we have a chance to pursue our creative dreams that were put on hold for a while. But they [were] never [gone] — they were just kind of dormant.”
Jones says he doesn’t think any dream ever fully goes away; Wilson points out dreams do change, however.
“Sometimes, the reality hits. You know, it’s like, ‘OK, this isn’t going to work out.’ And then you just kind of find another dream. Something moves you in another direction,” Wilson says. “[Dreams are] on hold, you have kids, then that kind of becomes your dream, in a way. Even though you’ve still got other dreams, it’s just slowed down a bit. Or it’s not in your timing like you wanted.”
“Life is pretty big, so there’s I guess different seasons for different dreams,” Jones says. “I think they’re always morphing,” Wilson says.
I wonder what is next for them creatively, how they go from such a large project into something new. They both agree they need a brief break from filmmaking, although they say there is never a true break, as there is always more to do for a film with marketing and distribution. Then, they say the next step is to make another film; they have scripts ready for it.
First, though, is the goal of getting “Sugarhouse” with a distributor; then they feel like they will be able to move forward and focus on other projects. Jones says they’re still just beginning with “Sugarhouse;” with projects of this size, fulfillment comes in stages.
But achieving dreams over a long period of time teaches humility and allows God to be the architect of the dream, helping ensure the dream is not self-centered, Jones says. He also says it helps grow the person to be able to deal with rejection.
While some dreams are fleeting, there are those that stay with a person throughout their life, Wilson says. And those dreams are about the longevity of the journey.
“You’ve got to be mature enough to handle your dream,” Wilson says. “It probably would have made us bad people if [we] really would’ve [achieved our filmmaking dreams directly after film school]. … I think in some ways, it’s good that dreams are not achieved immediately. … If you get your dream immediately, you don’t really appreciate it as much as if it’s been realized over a long period of time.”
I think about that after leaving the coffee shop. Some things happen, and some things don’t. Suffer, hope, suffer, hope. It’s the calling of an artist, a parent, a person, a lover of whatever or whoever we love over a lifetime. To receive the reality we see and to also believe in something better beyond it as even more realistic. And to move towards it, always, always. This tension is the medium. We continue to say yes to what we do, to who we are and to who we are responding to. And love continues to create, to make room, to move. We let it leave our heart open to what makes all things possible, whether it looks like what we initially thought, or not. It makes us new.
Because maybe my vision is too narrow, too short-sighted, too either/or. Probably. After all, I am only a human. I think in finite terms, because it is what I’ve known. But maybe the vision is grander. Instead of limiting my dreams like I perceive rejection and deferment chastise me into, love widens them, expands even my best imagining of them, sets them on a firm foundation. Makes me a believer. For me now and for what and who is to come. If we are made for love and vocation is the way we work that out, I want to enter into the fullness of who I am and what love has for me, trying and changing and continuing, even if it means sometimes falling and failing and blistering, but always ever listening, forever and ever and ever.
OK, yes. Amen.
Comment