Our Relationship to Our Bodies: Jowairia Khalid

By Jowairia Khalid

Photo by Aaron Eisenhauer

In Islam, we’re taught to prioritize our physical and mental health, and both go hand-in-hand. Islam means peace, so peace within the world, our relationships, but also within ourselves. We believe our bodies are a gift from God, and to take care of them is a form of worship. Ensuring I nourish my body properly by eating three meals a day — and sometimes a snack! — makes it possible to move my body in different ways. Pilates and running are my preferred ways of movement. I try to get in about two hours of daily movement to help me feel like my best self. The endorphins released after exercise make me genuinely happy, and I feel strong enough to conquer everything in the world. I try to take at least one to two rest days a week, knowing any injury could tank my mental and physical health.

It was my decision and my decision only to wear a hijab. I have been wearing my hijab for 10 years now and truly believe it was the best choice ever. The first time I wore it in public, I was scared. I wasn’t sure how people at school would react, since the last time they saw me, I wasn’t wearing it. But everything was OK. Some people didn’t recognize me, some gave me weird looks and snide comments, and others paid no mind. But inside, I felt so powerful and confident. That feeling is still with me now. Every morning, I put my hijab on and transform into someone who can achieve anything she puts her mind to. There’s a force of strength God puts into the hearts of hijabis. Unstoppable. Unyielding. Unbreakable. My forever sidekick.

Verse 95:4 of the Quran states, “Indeed, [God] created humans in the best form.” For me, this is such an encouraging verse when I feel down about myself. Maybe I don’t think my nose matches my face one morning, or my hands look too big — small, unnoticeable complaints about myself no one would look twice at. Nitpicking myself in the mirror before work will do nothing but cause me to compare myself with others. For God created me in the best way. I can improve myself through my words, actions and daily habits, but the overall creation of me will be the same.

I have struggled with food and body image for as long as I can remember. Some days are harder than others. So, for anyone out there struggling, those who have a hard time just looking at themselves in the mirror because they cannot stand to see their reflection, those who sit in the shower and sob because your body feels unworthy, know that it is OK. It is hard. And there are people out there who see you past your body. Your body is not an accessory; it’s a vessel. Fill that vessel with love. It could be the love your friends give you, or love from your pet or your favorite family member — hold on to it. Use their love as an anchor until you can accept — not love, accept — yourself. Accept you will not have the same body you did in high school, accept your face and body will not be the same as the person sitting next to you in class, and accept you are the only you in this world. You deserve to accept yourself the way you are. And accepting yourself is hard, so keep going. It may take five years, 15 years or however long to accept yourself. There’s no set rule.