Confession time: I completely underestimated the amount of time, energy, money and emotion it would take to plan my wedding. As someone who plans events for work, I thought I would be a natural at wedding planning. I thought it would be one scratch off of the to-do list after another until one day I presented a day that would wow wedding-goers for years to come. And I thought I would love it.
What really happened when it came to planning my wedding was I wasn’t a natural, I didn’t love it, and two years later, not one person has stopped me on the street or hit me up on social media because my wedding was the stuff of legends.
Oh, and did I mention I really didn’t need anyone’s clichéd advice because I knew best? *Insert eyeroll at myself here.*
To save you from my mistakes, here is a rundown of five things I wish I had listened to when planning my wedding:
1. My gut. I’m giving it to you real from the beginning with this one. It is easy to get swept up in the planning process. Whether it’s feeling like a princess when trying on gowns or agreeing to add a few more people to the guest list, most of the decisions and experiences surrounding weddings usually have money tied to them. In hindsight, I wish I would have stopped and checked in with myself and my partner to make sure we were sticking to what was important to us.
2. You’re going to want video. Whether you go all out with a hired videographer or set up an iPad on a tripod, there are so many little moments you don’t see or that get lost in the moment. For me, that moment was a speech one of my bridesmaids made at the reception, a speech that was very out-of-character for her but was so touching and genuine that it simultaneously had people laughing and crying. Having a video would allow me to go back and relive the moment when I’m missing having my lives-500-miles-away friend in town with me.
3. You need help the day of the event. Even if you have all of the planning on lock, there are still going to be things that come up the day of the event — questions that need to be answered, people who need to be directed on where to go, issues that arise. Designate someone from outside of the family or wedding party who is quick-thinking and can problem-solve to handle those things.
4. It goes by fast, you won’t talk to most of the people, and you probably won’t eat — all cliché and all true. If you find a way to keep this one from happening, share it with flourish on social media. I know there would be a lot of thankful brides out there!
5. It may not be the best day of your life, and that’s just fine. As controversial as this may be, there is absolutely no reason your wedding day has to be the best day of your life. One, that’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself, and two, it’s just a day. Sure, it may be a great day, and if it ends up being the best day of your life, then that’s a bonus. Instead, it may be a busy day where you spend more time walking around talking to people you don’t know than dancing with your best friends. And that’s fine. Luckily, the marriage, the friendships and the memories last a lot longer.
